Sharon's Birthday
by nofearonlylove
Summary: He wished he could at least wish her a happy birthday. Sharon/Rusty Mothership fic. Post-Poster Boy.
1. Rusty

**It's me again, here to bring you all some Mothership feels! With the 2nd half of season 2 fast approaching, I wanted to get this in before it starts. It will be three chapters. Three short, very sad chapters. I'm sorry, I can't help it! Again...I'm sorry! It's just...THE FEELS!**

_He missed her._

He missed the looks they used to share, the words they could exchange with each other through those looks. She always knew when he was upset, when he was happy, when he was scared just by looking into his eyes. And he knew her, too. He knew when she was sad, when she was disappointed in herself, when she blamed herself for not solving a case quick enough, the pride in her eyes whenever he would bring home one of his Straight A report cards, or when he won a chess match.

He missed the smell of coffee in the mornings, how she'd have a cup all ready for him when he woke up, the mug sitting on the counter with two packs of sugar and a little cream next to it. Just how he liked it. She knew it without ever having to ask.

He missed her smile and her sigh of relief when she would take off her heels at the end of a long day at work, when she would slip on her Ugg boots and settle in beside him on the sofa. And what would follow…their talks. She always had time to listen to him, and she promised him she always would.

He missed her more and more with each passing day.

He had been so stupid. He had hurt her, had disappointed her, which was something he had never wanted to do. He thought that if he hid the letters from her, from everyone, that they would go away. But sneaking around was never a good thing. Nothing good ever came from it. He knew this now more than ever. It had cost him the only person who ever made him feel like he belonged.

It had been a long day for him. It was Sharon's birthday, and he went to the corner store next to his new high school and picked up a birthday card for her, even though he knew he couldn't send it to her. He felt horrible for not being able to be there with her, and even more horrible for not being able to even contact her to wish her a happy birthday. Last year on her birthday they had spent it together, he had made her a cake and it was perfect.

Maybe he would be able to give her the card someday. He hoped so. He hoped that she hadn't been alone today, that maybe her kids had flown down for the occasion. At the same time that thought made him sad, because if her kids got to be with her and he didn't, the jealousy inside of him was overwhelming.

The family he had been sent to live with in witness protection was nice enough. They had two kids that were younger than he was, and he knew that when he turned 18 in a few months he'd be on his own. After all, he wasn't their kid and he never would be. This was just a place to stay for now. Besides, even when the trial was over, he'd be an adult, and Sharon wouldn't, and shouldn't, want to take him in again.

When he realized this, he couldn't help it when he started to cry. He hadn't cried at all since the day he had been taken from her, over three months ago, but the thought of never sleeping in that warm bed again, of never again having coffee ready for him in the mornings…

_…of really losing Sharon forever._ It was too much for him, and he sobbed hard into his pillow. He wished he could just talk to her again, tell her he was sorry, that he'd be better, that he would do everything in his power to make her proud of him.

He wished he could at least wish her a happy birthday.


	2. Sharon

**Thank you for the reviews/follows/favorites. Here is Chapter 2! Enjoy and please R&R!**

_She missed him._

She missed him waiting up for her, sometimes falling asleep on the sofa in doing so, whenever she had to work a late night at the station. She missed his cooking. He was a terrific cook. She missed watching the news with him after dinner, and their conversations on the way to school in the mornings.

He was a good kid, a sweet kid, someone she had grown to love without even realizing it.

What she missed the most was simply his _presence_ in her life. She had missed her children when they moved away, and she'd been happy taking Rusty in, at least after he seemed to warm up to her. He ensured she didn't come home to an empty condo anymore, even if he was sleeping when she walked through the door.

She blamed herself for his absence. She should have sensed something was really wrong, that he was hiding something from her. All she wanted was for him to be safe, for him to be happy. She wasn't sure if he was happy now, but she did know he was safe, and it was what she had to remember whenever she found herself in his room, under his covers, with the scent of him lingering in the bedding. Her sweet boy. Somehow, spending time in his bedroom made her feel less alone, even though it seemed to break her heart a little more every time she walked in there.

She had no choice but to go through the motions. She would try to ignore the 'deer in headlights' looks her squad would give her whenever someone would mention Rusty by mistake in her presence. As if mentioning his name would somehow cause her to explode. They didn't need to mention him. She thought about him all the time, even when they didn't talk about him. She knew they missed him, too. She knew he was like family to all of them.

She sat alone in her living room, nursing her third glass of wine. She looked over at the clock in the living room. It was almost 10 PM. Today had been her birthday, and she had gone out to dinner with her two kids. Both of them had come home to her for the weekend, wanting to cheer her up. They were obviously worried for their mother, and didn't want her to be so sad. Their visit had helped immensely, even if she couldn't help but look at the empty chair at the oversized table they had been seated in at their favorite restaurant, seeing Rusty sitting there, knowing he wasn't but wishing with all her heart that he was. A huge part of her seemed to be missing from her "special day" as he had called it when they celebrated together last year, but she managed to keep herself upbeat for her two children, not wanting to worry them so much.

If she could have had one thing for her birthday, it would be for Rusty to be on the sofa when she got home, waiting up for her. Or at least, a chance to talk to him again. Three months felt like an eternity. She kept replaying their last day together over and over in her head. She hoped he understood that she loved him, that he had a home here with her for as long as he needed her. She hoped he was doing okay, hoped the people he was staying with now treated him well.

When the trial was over, she hoped that he would come back.

All she could do was hope.


	3. Three Months Ago

**THANK YOU for all of your reviews and follows/favorites. Please enjoy this chapter. Only one more to go after this one!**

DDA Rios, Chief Taylor, and DCFS only gave them a few days to spend with each other to say their goodbyes.

At first, Rusty did nothing but throw temper tantrums, lashing out at Rios, Taylor, and then pleading with Provenza and Flynn, asking them to help him, then turning on them, too. It was Rusty's defense mechanism, to lash out. Sharon knew this, she knew better than anyone that he did what he had to do to protect himself from the hurt and fear he felt inside.

She hoped that during their last few days together, he would open up to her, instead of lash out at her. She hoped that he would let her take care of him, that he would listen to her when she promised that he would remain in her heart, that she would miss him everyday.

Rusty refused to acknowledge the fact that he was going to be taken from Sharon. His thoughts were occupied by the things he wanted to say out loud but couldn't bring himself to. _How could they? Couldn't they see? Couldn't they see that they needed each other? What about Sharon? Who would make sure she was getting enough rest? Who would cook her dinner and make sure she had leftovers when she came home late? Who would take care of her?_

He was scared. He had never been so afraid. Even when his mother abandoned him the first time, he hadn't felt this scared. He had finally found a place where he felt like he belonged, a real home, and it was being ripped from him. Why couldn't he just be happy?

Those last few days went by far too quickly for both of them. When the day arrived, Rusty woke up at 5 AM. He couldn't sleep, and had barely slept much since Sharon had found out about the letters. The condo was dark and silent, and he decided to take a shower, leaning on the cooler side so he would wake up.

When he got out of the shower, dressed and made it into the kitchen, he saw Sharon sitting at the dining table, drinking her coffee and reading the morning paper. She was in her pink robe, and looked as fatigued as he felt. When she heard him, she looked up and gave him a warm smile. "Morning."

He wanted to hug her. He wanted to hug her and tell her he was sorry and that he didn't want to leave. But he just swallows back the lump in his throat and returns her smile. "Morning."

She gazed at him, narrowing her eyes in concern. "Did you sleep okay? You got up so early."

He just nods, and heads into the kitchen to start breakfast, trying not to think that this would be the last breakfast he'd be making in this kitchen. He saw his coffee mug and the two sugars next to the coffee pot, the cream set there, too. It was the sight of this coffee mug, and the fact that it all felt so routine and that it all was going to end, that finally broke him.

He leaned on the counter and squeezed the ends of it, his eyes squeezed shut as he realized he couldn't breathe. He tried to catch his breath and just as he did, he felt a soothing hand on his shoulder, and instead of breathing out, he let out a sob.

Sharon had never seen him like this. Tears came to her eyes and she gently rubbed his back. "Rusty…?"

He turned around and pulled her close, burying his face in her shoulder and sobbing, his whole body shaking with the force of it. "I'm sorry….I'm sorry…"

Sharon could do nothing but hold him tight to her, rubbing her fingers through his hair as she let her own tears fall. "Shhh…it's all right…" Although it broke her heart to see him like this, she couldn't help but feel a little relief, too. She knew that he had been keeping everything inside, and knew it wasn't healthy for him. She was just happy that he felt comfortable enough to break down with her, and not all alone.

After a few minutes, he finally started to calm down, and she led him to the sofa in the living room. He wiped his eyes with the backs of his hands, clearly embarrassed at his outburst. Once Sharon knew he was calm enough, she went into the kitchen to get him a glass of water, then resumed her spot on the sofa next to him. She handed him the glass which he took and drank gratefully.

A minute of silence passed after that, and Sharon finally spoke. "Feel better?"

He just nods, taking another sip of his water before he finally looked at her. His eyes were bloodshot, his face blotchy from crying. "Sharon…I know that I should have told you this before but…I love you, too."

Sharon nods, swallowing back her own tears before managing to give him a little smile, her eyes damp. "I know. I've always known."

She reaches over and places her hand over his. "Rusty…I need you to listen to me, okay?"

He just nods.

"Wherever you go after today, I want you to try to be happy, okay? Please. Please give this a chance. If you don't then things will be one hundred times worse."

He just nods, looking down at their hands. "I'll try."

Sharon sighs in relief. "Good. And hey, maybe the trial won't take so long and then we'll be able to see each other again. We have to try to make the best of this, even though I know I will miss you every moment of everyday."

He nods, swallowing hard and looking over at her again. "I'll miss you, too, Sharon."

She smiles and reaches over to kiss his forehead gently. She pulls back and looks into his eyes. "You'll always be in my heart, Rusty. Always. I promise."

"Mine, too." He sighs deeply, and she pulls back, leaning up against the sofa, their hands still clasped together.

They sit in a comfortable silence for a few minutes, then Rusty gives her hand a squeeze. "Guess I'll make breakfast, then. Pancakes okay?"

She smiles and lets go of his hand. "Pancakes sound great."

Three hours later Rusty was gone from Sharon's care, and that was the first night Sharon slept in his room, wrapped in his blankets. She had cried herself to sleep, hoping that he was okay, and that she'd see him again soon.

One thing she knew for sure, no one would use his mug until he came home.


	4. Reunions

**Well, this is the end of the line, folks. I hope you enjoyed the story. Please R&R and thank you for your support!**

It had been a year and three months since Rusty had gone into witness protection, and a month since the Philip Stroh trial. She was able to be there when Rusty had testified, but was disappointed when she and everyone else from Major Crimes that was there had been requested to leave the courtroom when he was about to take the stand. She couldn't understand why, and had been saddened that she had missed at least seeing him again, although she heard that he had done an outstanding job from DDA Rios, and Sharon had asked her to let Rusty know that she was proud of him, and that she missed him.

She had gone to Stroh's sentencing hearing, and he had been found guilty in a couple of cases, but others had not garnered the same results. But, he had gotten life in prison on two counts of murder. Sharon couldn't help but feel relief at this, and could only imagine how Brenda Leigh felt. It was finally over.

After the initial excitement and relief had passed, Sharon began to feel incredibly depressed. The trial was over, the letters had stopped months ago as far as Sharon knew, and still…she hadn't gotten one phone call from Rusty. She still missed him as much now as she did all that time ago.

It was her birthday again, and she had hoped that this one would be a a little less lonely. Yes, her children again came to spend time with her, but again, something huge was missing - Rusty. He could have contacted her at any time after the sentencing, but he hadn't yet. She understood that he was over 18 years old now, and that he had probably done so much "growing up" without her since their separation. Still, she just needed to know if he was okay, if he was happy.

It was deja vu, her children took her out to dinner and she put on a brave face, only this time she was not only trying to put on a brave face, but trying to come to terms with the fact that she needed to move on without Rusty. He was gone, and it was his choice if he wanted to come back, or contact her. And if he didn't, if he had moved on without her, then she needed to, too.

When she got home, she opened up the door and walked straight to the kitchen, pouring herself a glass of white wine and then headed out to the balcony to try to relax. She was yet another year older, and was the head of the most elite squad that LAPD had to offer. She had two beautiful, happy, successful children in her life that she adored, and reveled in her independence.

She couldn't help but smile to herself at her thoughts. She obviously wasn't doing too bad for herself. She leans her head back in her chair and sighs deeply.

Then she heard a faint knock on her door.

She sat up suddenly and looked at her watch. It was almost 11 PM. She swallowed hard and left the balcony before heading over to the end table drawer where she kept a spare gun, taking the safety off of it and heading to the door. She looked through the peephole and was stunned at what she saw. She quickly put the safety back on the gun and placed it on the accent table to her right, and opened the door.

There stood Rusty, a sheepish, even nervous, expression on his face, holding a pink rose and a cupcake, a familiar backpack over his shoulder. "Happy birthday, Sharon!"

Sharon shook her head and covered her mouth with her hands, tears coming to her eyes almost instantly. "Rusty! Oh God…Rusty!" The tears of loneliness and pain that she had been holding in for so long at the absence of this boy in her life gave way to tears of relief, and she started to sob.

Rusty frowned, not expecting this reaction, and he felt horrible. He thought that she would be happy to see him, and he let himself into the apartment, placing the cupcake on the accent table next to her gun, then turned around and wrapped his arms around her.

Sharon clutched onto him and sobbed hard into his shoulder. It had been months, or maybe even years, since she had let go and cried like this. She had been heartbroken since the day Rusty had been taken from her, and over the last few weeks she had begun to believe that she would never see him again, and it was all just too much.

Rusty held her close and rubbed her back, trying hard to get her to calm down. "Hey, Sharon…it's okay. I'm back. Everything is going to be fine, now. Please don't cry."

After a few minutes, Sharon managed to calm down and her tears stopped completely and she pulled back to get a look at him, wiping her tears away with her fingertips. Rusty had grown a little bit, and it was obvious he frequented the gym more. He looked happy, healthy. She smiled at him and reached over to touch his face. "I missed you."

Rusty nods. "I missed you, too. I'm sorry it took so long to get in contact with you. I guess I just…I wasn't sure if you would have me after all this time had passed."

Sharon shook her head. "Always. I will always want you here." She took a deep breath and laughed a bit to herself. "God, this is the best birthday present ever."

He smiled sheepishly at her, then walked over to the accent table to grab the rose and the cupcake. He handed them both to her. "It's not much but…Happy Birthday."

She smiled. "Thank you, Rusty. Want to share?" She gestured to the cupcake.

He rolled his eyes but his expression was playful. "It's a cupcake, Sharon. You're supposed to eat the whole thing yourself."

"I know but…I'd rather share it with you."

He nods shyly and follows her into the kitchen. She grabs two forks and paper plates, then strategically cuts the cupcake in half, handing him one of the halves and one of the forks. He gazes at the cupcake happily. "Thanks."

He places his backpack down and reaches into it, pulling out two greeting cards sealed in envelopes. He hands them to her. She smiles and takes them, noticing her name scrawled on them in his somewhat messy handwriting. "How come there's two?"

He swallows. "Well I uhhh…I bought you one last year and held onto it. I thought that when I saw you again I'd give it to you. So one is for last year's birthday and one is for this years."

She smiled. So she had been in his thoughts. All this time. Just as he had been in hers. "Thank you, Rusty. I'll open them later if that's okay."

He nods, and they sit there for a minute or so, just enjoying each other and their cupcake.

He takes a deep breath, hoping that his next news would be welcome news to her. "So….uhhh…Sharon….I got into UCLA."

Her eyes light up. "You did! Oh Rusty! I'm so proud of you! That's wonderful!"

He smiles widely at her. "Thanks. I ummm…I got some scholarships and financial aid, but I….I don't really want to do the dorm thing so….is it okay if I stay here?"

Sharon's smile only gets wider, and she reaches over the table and takes his hand. "Rusty…always. You will always have a home here, okay? Until you graduate from UCLA or until whenever you need."

He sighs in relief. "Thanks, Sharon. It's good to be back."

She nods, taking another bite of the cupcake. "It's good to have you home, Rusty. This is where you belong."


End file.
